"new york city is an island"
oh really? i was sure it was made of 5 burroughs.
oh yeah, i don’t take any [medicine] because i’m a naturalist." (said while making KRAFT MACARONI AND CHEESE)
which one is [friend’s name omitted] again? i can’t remember, all your friends look the same.
"my job is not dedicated to making my clients happy"
(she works in marketing)
i know swine flu comes from pigs but why do they call it SWINE flu? like, why didn’t they just name it sharon’s flu? that’s just silly.
i don’t know my meats. like, i don’t know what porkchops are.. are they beef?
i have a new appreciation for homeless people. i mean, i’ve ALWAYS appreciated them but after spending the night outside of best buy, i have a new appreciation for them.
you know, i’m sure rihanna provoked it.
(re: the skip-it toy)
“i can’t believe kids in canada don’t know about the toys we have in america!